


Faraway Place

by Pas_dAutres



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 's really sad childhood, Gen, Poverty, attempt at angst T_T, homeless, implied ereri, might be boring for you just a warning.., more on levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-28
Updated: 2014-06-28
Packaged: 2018-02-06 12:56:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1858797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pas_dAutres/pseuds/Pas_dAutres
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Levi was eight, he was brought to a place where the sun, the moon, and the stars touched. Inspired by a wonderful but heartbreaking art-piece on child!Levi.</p><p> </p><p>  <i>Take me away to a faraway place where the sun and the moon and the stars touch.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Faraway Place

**Author's Note:**

> Levi is such a precious character—falling in love more and more with him. Inspired by the heartbreaking piece of artwork found here (not art by op): ereri-land.tumblr.com/post/89548806253/original

_Take me away to a faraway place where the sun and the moon and the stars touch._

.-.

When Levi was three, memories were blurry. He saw his mother’s hands, holding his own. He heard sounds of bustling streets and mumbling crowds. He smelled sour fumes smoking into his nose, burning his mind. There had been a long walk, his feet burning and knees sore. Then a fuzzy face, of blurry eyes and a faint smile. The kiss on his forehead was the clearest imagery—it was comforting, short and sweet. His last memory of warmth. Because all that he knew since then was the biting sting of coldness and apprehension. There, waiting forever, in a small alleyway on the side of the streets. He forgot what he was waiting for—his mother most likely.

But that was a distant memory, and she never came.

He stayed in the alleyway. And he welcomed the cold, the loud streets, and the stinging scent that hurt his head. He welcomed the rats and little bugs crawling around him, muddy water slithering beneath his feet and dirt wearing on his skin. He let himself remain on the side, and watch as people pass his life without first glances for years and years to come.

He did allow himself to enjoy the stars and the moon and the basking of the sun. It came with no sacrifice and he received all he could. A faraway dream where he could escape to, a place he knew he couldn’t reach but still held onto the speck of hope that one day, one night, he’d be whisked away to where the sun and the stars and the moon touched.

When his wish was answered, it appeared in the form of a man and a small child.

Peering from the opening of the alleyway, a large figure yielding pure gold and sapphire, cradling a smaller body of sunset wonders. They hovered for the longest of time, and Levi wondered if they were divine beings—the morning sun enveloping them in a halo. He asked himself if it was finally time to go. Curled up, lying on his side and half-asleep, he faintly recalled the smaller being patter near him, and it was to those light rhythmic steps that he gave up and closed his eyes.

.-.

Amber and turquoise turned to deep-blue, where it shimmered with soft pained expressions. A tug on his pants, a silent plead, and a soft nod.

And the boy in tattered rags and dark-splotched dirt was whisked away to where the sun, the moon, and the stars touched.

.-.

When Levi was eight, he came to a place where four walls existed instead of two, and a ceiling above his head instead of the sky. He found himself under a soft thick blanket and on top of equally soft pillows. The air was sweet, an aroma he’d never imagine to capture. This strange sensation where his bare skin made contact with silk was too overwhelming, too unreal—it scared him.

The sound of creaking alerted him towards the door and his body tensed at the sight of this stranger. Large build, big muscles, striking eyes. He stayed still, breath at minimum, grey orbs pinned on the man, senses hiked to detect anything. He was not afraid. He would get out. He would survive.

A small movement below was what broke his attention and Levi stared with cautious curiousity at the little boy behind the threatening man. He was a strange thing—one eye with the colour of the sun and other the colour of the ocean. He was holding a basket while clutching on the man’s pants. Really an odd picture—like a sprout growing beside an ancient tree.

After much waiting, the little boy ran to the side and offered the basket, struggling his tiny arms to reach high above the bed. Inside was an assortment of fruit: red, green, orange, blue—more colours than Levi had ever seen in a bowl. So entranced he was that he didn’t notice the man loom over and he only had enough time to escape his large grabby hands.

The man smiled. “I won’t hurt you. I promise. I need to check your fever.”

Levi didn’t know what that was. So he stayed still, hands gripping by the edge of the bed and ready for escape. The man sighed and retreated. Levi didn’t relent. He was, however, caught by surprise again when small movements hovered over his legs and he jumped when a tiny hand smacked his forehead. The little boy palmed his own, pulled a really concentrated look—brows furrowed, lips pouting, eyes crossed, then shook his head.

It was then when Levi felt another bigger, rougher hand over the little one and his head and he heard him chuckle. “You’re right Eren, he’s not burning up anymore.”

He watched as the man move to set down a glass of very clean water and a tray of food in front of him. “My name is Erwin, and this is Eren. What do you go by little one?”

He was silent and waited for a slap. None came and Erwin instead sat. “That’s okay. We’ll take it slow. Why don’t you eat first, I’m sure you’re very hungry.”

His tummy agreed, but his mind hesitated. There were things he’d never seen before, and while the smell was tantalizing and making his mouth water, Levi didn’t know what was in it. And he learned over the years, what he didn’t know could kill him. Except that for the first time in his life, he had someone teach him of the unknown.

So-called Eren kneeled at his side, took a block of yellow and ate it with a cracker. He was looking intently at Levi while chewing, almost as if to say that these were edible and yummy. The small one was wrong, and his stomach certainly agreed. Levi let greed take over and took more than his mouth could hold because the yellow block was salty and savoury and together with crackers, it was a delectable explosion. His senses are overwhelming, his stomach growled for more and his tongue, his cheeks, his throat, tingling at the taste and—

“Slow down,” a low voice broke his trance. “You’ll get a stomach-ache. There’s plenty for you.” Erwin wiped a lost crumb off the corner of his mouth and although not the same, the gesture felt warm. Comforting. It brought back a distant memory hidden somewhere deep inside and it made him swell up. It hurt, felt like a burst of sudden...

...tears down his face. Levi couldn’t swallow, his throat stuck, so all he did was sniffle and hiccup. A small hand came up to wipe away his tears, again a touch so warm. So soothing, so _kind_. Levi whimpered. Levi shut his eyes.

Levi cried.

.-.

Most of the time he caught the boy sneaking a peek through the door. His duo-coloured eyes would widen and Levi imagined a squeak out of Eren. Occasionally, he came in unnoticed. But no matter, he ended up on the bed. Levi had no reason to refuse—this was their house, their bed, and they could do whatever they want with it.

Eren was a quiet boy, he rarely spoke. But that didn’t mean he was equally dull. Eren was a happy child—full of smiles and silent giggles. He wore his heart on his sleeve and spirit in his eyes. He twinkled upon finding joy, turned pink with little laughter, and discovered wonders in the simplest of mysteries. Levi didn’t mind Eren’s company. It was nice.

But he didn’t reciprocate. He shouldn’t. He grew wary of this new _thing_. No, it wasn’t new. He’d been there before, and he learned his lesson.

.-.

_He changed upon two sticky bugs always chasing after him. They were different—happy, positive, loud. Levi stayed away from loud. Loud meant trouble. And they were trouble, causing ruckus wherever they go and he was always pulled in. Not because he was their friend or family, but because they stuck to him and he had no choice but to help them, lead them._

_It was a silly dream—the three of them could be family. But Levi let them stay in his alleyway and they acted as one. Isabelle was a bright girl, curious and active despite what disgracing treatment laid upon him. Farlan was always one step behind, cool and quiet but provided life with his humour. They lived together, moved together, acted together._

_So it was a mistake to think they’ll be together forever. It was his mistake to decide to go together. His mistake to trust himself to trust in Izzy and Farlan. He should’ve stayed behind, made sure all was clear; he should’ve not even let them come. He should’ve shaken them off, hide, never let them stick to him in the first place._

_‘Cause they wouldn’t be dragged off with cloth gagged in their mouth, wrists tightly bound. They wouldn’t be thrown over large shoulders, as Levi watched with horror-stricken eyes, equally terrified looks reflecting off their aquamarine and phoenix orbs. He wouldn’t be held down by some burly fat man as he watched his only companions be stolen away by slave traders. Sex traders. The same monsters._

_He should’ve left them alone. Shouldn’t even touch them. Levi had forgotten, but he was now reminded of his curse. Just like last time, everything he touched would break. But unlike last time, he had learned his lesson._

_When Levi was seven, he made sure to truly keep his dirty hands to himself._

.-.

He’d keep it that way. He would keep his hands tucked by his side, mouth zipped, eyes devoid of any emotions. Erwin and Eren didn’t seem to mind. The older man had a natural sense for Levi’s discomfort and backed away when it was time. Eren pushed and pushed and never got tired of being ignored. When Levi was deemed healthy enough, the little boy dragged him around the house.

It was a cabin, situated on the outskirts of the town. It had a small garden and a humongous forest as a backyard. Small, quaint, and simple. So different from the noisy, dirty streets Levi lived in. His favourite is the library. A small room with books lining along shelves on all four walls, a simple lamp hovering over a couch in the centre.

Erwin wasn’t the richest, but wealth didn’t mean a big house and beautiful decorations.

.-.

_When Levi was five, he liked to stand in front of the bookstore, stick himself onto the glass window, and marvel at the pile of books on display. His grey eyes were with wonder, curious to what could be inside. He took sneak peeks and saw black symbols and colour pictures, and he wanted to see more._

_He’d seen children with these books. Ones just like him, except they wore brand new clothes and were combed by the hair and wore shiny black shoes with laces tied thinly in a bow. They had books and would share, and ‘read’ out loud to each other. Levi wanted to join, but he tried one time and they all ran away screaming._

_There must be, he though, there must be one book where he could find where the sun, the moon, and the stars touched. He wanted to find it._

_But then the angry shopkeeper would come out and scream his fantasy away. She’d stomp out and swat at him with an old bristled broom, leaving red scratches across his bare arms and legs. Sometimes she’d just grab him by the arm and shove him on the streets._

_“Don’t stand in front of my shop you cretin! You’re dirtying my windows!”_

_And they would all just pass without first glances. As if he never existed. As if he shouldn’t exist._

_Levi learned to long from afar, standing in a secret corner instead of in front of the book shop._

.-.

It was a shame really. When Eren held a thin book to him, eyes pleading in anticipation for him to read the story—and Levi was standing like a deer caught in firelight because he couldn’t read the story. He couldn’t read. The first thing Eren asked of him, and he couldn’t give it. Levi was prepared to give back and repay their kindness—just to be reminded that he had nothing to offer.

Eren didn’t look into his guilt-stricken face and led them to the couch, sitting closely beside him and started browsing the book. His little finger touched everywhere, pointing to every picture he saw. Silent excitement rang the air around them as he progressed along, sliding from drawing to drawing. It was Eren telling the story, Eren reading the book. Eren with a smile on as if this was okay, that it didn’t matter that Levi refused to read to him; but no. It did matter, it was not okay, Eren shouldn’t be satisfied with this.

Levi was filthy with shame. And he was determined not to let Eren down next time.

“Teach you how to read?” Erwin did not look surprised. He opened his arms straight away and Levi took his offer. It was the same book Eren chose for him, and it was the first book Levi will read to Eren. It was also the first time he asked Erwin of anything, but this was important and he felt this odd sense that yes, he could entrust his learning to this man.

Erwin was patient. He went slowly—letter by letter, word by word, page by page. He let him make one, two, three attempts before correcting him. He was a willing audience when Levi was unwavering and an equally-willing when Levi arrived at the verge of giving up. It became a nightly routine, after Eren was tucked away. Levi came in Erwin’s study and settled himself on his lap before opening a book.

And one night, instead of Erwin’s study, Levi headed towards Eren’s bedroom with that first book in hand. Eren peered in large curiousity from underneath his blanket. Levi settled beside him, back against the headboard, opened to the first page, and started the first word. The rest followed naturally through, like a small river flowing down a stream of letters.

Eren remained silent, focused more on the story, listening intently. Levi was glad for his attention, his nervousness fading word by word until finally he was no longer concentrating on each vowel and consonant, but the way the little boy reacted to the tale. Fingers gripped his sleeve when there were conflicts and villains, slackened when the hero came, and excitedly touched the drawings he so well liked. Levi didn’t notice his slumber until he closed the book and revelled in light airy Eren snores.

That was the first of many bedtime stories.

Sometimes stories would even lull Levi to sleep and he wouldn’t realise until the dead of the night, when a door would open and noisy shuffling forced his senses to be alert and awake. But he’d calm his nerves when sleepy eyes laid sight on the moon and stars, illuminated in a familiar outline of man and golden halo, the silver sky promising vigil over him.

And in the morning, Levi laid sight on a small figure flowing in morning sun, so close and warm against his core. Drowsy grey eyes never once strayed from the angelic chub—eyes closed by long eyelashes, rosy-pink lips opened, breathing a peaceful rhythm—a small ball of sunshine starting off the day.

When Levi was nine, he found a place where he was amongst the sun, the moon, and stars.

.-.

It was perplexing how Erwin trusted him enough to be alone with Eren, in the forest behind their house. But here they were, situated in a bed of wildflowers. Levi grazed his fingers through crisp green grass, uncut and untamed, untainted by dirty worlds and humans. Playful giggles broke his trance and he looked above to a prickly crown Eren just bestowed on him. His peripherals caught weedy green, sunshine yellow, and pearly white—a beautiful flower creation from Eren.

Curiousity got the better of him and he reached for his crown, only for it to crumble gracelessly in his rough hands. The crestfallen look on Eren’s face left an imprint in his mind and never left then. No, he hadn’t meant to take it off, he wanted to wear it. He hadn’t meant to break it.

And suddenly he was thrown back to earlier this week. When Erwin brought out a new tea set and let the boys try the drink for the first time. Levi was mesmerized by magical loops of golden lines and blue bellflowers—the design seemed to dance on fine china. Thin, petite, delicate. He knew to be cautious.

He looked over and grimaced to see Eren copying his movements, hand hovering the cup and fingers grasping only the rim. He corrected him, teaching how a teacup should be held by the handle by three fingers. Eren observed Levi and cocked his head in confusion, questioning why he couldn’t drink tea the way Levi did. The older child only offered a sad smile and words that confused the younger more.

“You don’t break the things you touch.”

.-.

 _It almost resembled the moon, how it was the only thing radiating light in the dark alleyway. It felt like the moon, smooth and cool, with little imprints speaking mysterious stories. A quaint set, nothing extravagant. He couldn’t afford those anyway. But this...Levi held up a single cup high in his hands, loving the way it shone in moonlight. This was something he worked for,_ earned _. Just like those well-dressed people, he had worked for something he really wanted—he_ could _be one of them. He was not of another kind; he was one of them too._

_But then a dog barked into the alleyway, its sound bit his body and crushed his dreams. And little shocked fingers toppled and a cup crumbled. Shattered and turned into little diamond pieces spread on the ground. The dirty ground. Levi stood, then crouched against the wall, hands under his chin and downcast eyes on the sparkly mess in front of him._

_He stayed like that the entire night and patiently watched as the sun rose, slowly hitting each shard. But it hadn’t shone like before, it wasn’t as pretty. It was now tainted, dirty, broken. Cured by Levi’s touch._

_He left the tea set box—one cup missing—in front of the store that night. He didn’t want to break any more things._

.-.

When Levi was 13, he was restless. He grew angry and impatient. He became unreasonable, unwilling, truculent. He grew doubts and nurtured poisoned thoughts and translated words into lies. He became blind and turned his back on the sun, the moon and the stars that were reaching out to him.

Why was he here. Why did he stay. When did he become attached.  
How did Erwin find him. Why did he pick him up, keep him. Why did he let him stay. Why did he let his guard down and place his entire trust in him.  
He was nothing, had nothing, returned nothing, and will remain nothing for the rest of his time.

These unanswered questions confused him, clouded his mind. He couldn’t find appropriate answers—none of them made sense. The more he thought about it, the greater the frustration swelled and cultivated into bitter rage. A pool of fire collecting ashes and fumes. A volcano where no one could reach, could near because they’d get hurt when the final explosion happens.

“What _exactly_ do you want from me?” Levi’s growl echoed in the kitchen. It was a morning fresh from late night storms, only to be disturbed by another storm. “What am I doing here? Why did you keep me?!” He didn’t know what led this on. Perhaps it was from Erwin’s suggestion of sending Levi to school. He was tired of this... _free-giving_. There was no such thing. There must’ve been something Erwin wanted in return.

“Levi. I was merely mentioning—”

“You’re _giving_ me. You’re _merely_ giving me life, food shelter, _home_. You’re _merely_ giving and not expecting. What’s wrong with you? There’s something _wrong_ with that!”

His outburst didn’t seem to faze Erwin, him still with a calm expression. Which pissed Levi more. It was like this wasn’t a big deal for Erwin, like there wasn’t anything _wrong_ with this entire messed up situation.

“Levi please, sit down and we’ll—”

“ _No_! Just...tell me! Why me? Me of all the _hundreds_ of dying kids out there? I’m not special, there’s no special in my bones. I couldn’t _read_ for god’s sake! I’m not like Eren who actually _needed_ someone!” Levi kicked the chair because he would not sit down. A large crack hit the ground followed by a whimper, and a loud heartbeat shot through Levi.

His mind and heart told him not to, but his body needed to see, just needed to see if Eren was alright. But of course he wasn’t. He never witnessed Levi explode like that, and it seemed like Eren was at fault. Like Levi was angry with Eren. And that scared him, the sudden fear swallowing the yellow and green-blue orbs and hitting Levi dead in the centre.

“E-Eren?”

The boy unintentionally let out a small squeak and shrivelled further back behind the doorway, large orbs watching him with unease. Levi couldn’t breathe. He didn’t want to. He shouldn’t. He scared Eren, induced _fear_ in the little boy, made him feel vulnerable instead of protected. He broke his unspoken promise, to be there for him, to protect him. He broke it, just like how he broke everything he touched.

And just like with that tea set, he knew what to do. He shouldn’t touch anything else before more are broken, left shattered under his hands. Levi did the only thing he thought of, one that he hadn’t done for years but should’ve right from the start. He left.

Angry legs darted out the confining space, past Eren out the house he’d carelessly called home. Through the fence, down the little grassy trail that led to the main dirt road. He hadn’t thought of where to go, but getting out was the first step. These were good people. And Levi wasn’t about to set his curse on them.

The sun, the moon and the stars...they weren’t for him to touch.

“No!”

Except, Eren wasn’t about to let him leave. This kid. Eleven years of muting himself and this was his first words? No? Nevertheless, Levi halted—body almost toppling over from the sudden force—and did topple to the ground when a small impact hit him. Eren was holding him tightly, cheek pressed hard against his chest and eyes shut in pure concentration.

“L-Levi...” Eren’s whimper broke his heart. Broken, just like the words he tried to scramble together. “Do-on’t g-go-o.”

How could he, when his ball of sunshine was crying with dreary rain. He didn’t notice Erwin until his voice boomed the silence.

“It wasn’t me who noticed Levi. Eren saw you first.”

He dug his nose into Eren’s hair, eyebrows scrunching in deep pain. Of course. How could he forget that echoing pitter-patter of Eren’s tiny feet running towards him in that dark alleyway, a soft rhythm bringing him to sleep. He had forgotten it was Eren who chose him, gave him a chance, spared him that first glance when no one ever did on the streets. He’d be damned if he forgot again.

“I’m sorry.”

He’d also forgotten how strong Erwin was, having been picked up so effortlessly in one arm with Eren in the other. He didn’t protest when they headed back, instead rested his head against Erwin’s shoulder and watched as Eren nuzzled into the nape of Erwin’s neck. Eren reached out, and Levi responded by holding tightly to his hand.

He was going to be selfish for a bit. If the sun wanted him near, then who was he to refuse? If the moon and stars wanted to watch over him, so be it. As long as he could still be in a place where the sun, the moon, and the stars touched.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally planned out Levi’s entire life and was supposed to continue from the last scene. But it wouldn’t be focused on Levi anymore and more on ereri. Last few paragraphs are crap. Might come back for this, might not. I realised there might be many things that didn’t make sense to you and I understand. I bring in a lot of metaphors that sometimes just doesn’t even relate or connect. I guess this was more of practice for writing.
> 
> Comments and criticism appreciated! You can also reach me at my tumblr: no-other-words.


End file.
